Hello Jessica! was it really ten years ago that we were on a skype call talking about launching dreams? amazing to see the miles you have traveled since that call.
Yes. to both. Blending following interests with navigating cut and dry human constructed, often hierarchical, systems. (yeah university has not changed much and the hoop jumping is real)
This will involve some risk and some creativity. I didn't have much of either when I was 18.
My parenting manifesto: grow curious engaged explorers.
on my window shelf: "follow your interests" and "raise your standards for who and what you allow in your life"
My oldest is finishing his grade 12 year. Instead of going to his convocation (despite that I even had my hair done), he competed in a regional track and field meet. Instead of prom, he followed his dream to run his first marathon. Goals of his own choosing have added meaning and purpose to his day to day life.
We were able to combine traditional schooling in the morning, with sports school in the afternoon. It was a game changer. After too many years sitting all day in a traditional classroom, he sparked to life. We're getting better at a societal level in offering these opportunities. They are, however, limited.
Follow your interests. This shouldn't be so hard. And not just for young adults, but for all adults. Imagine a world full of curious engaged explorers?
There seems to be a prevailing ideology that people are inherently lazy, that without "jobs" and "bosses" we would all binge watch Netflix while devouring Costco size bags of potato chips. (I may be enticed to do this for a day or two). That brute discipline or force matters more than inspiration and choice. I disagree. I think that most healthy (and there's the crux...healthy) humans are wired to contribute, learn, accomplish and embrace challenge. What do you think?
As for careers. IMHO the number one factor that determines job satisfaction is not so much What you do, but the working conditions while you're doing it and that's harder to predict at 18... but that's a whole other conversation.
It has been 10 years, crazy!!! Love your parenting manifesto. LOVE IT! Love all of this! Your oldest knows himself which is most of the battle to a happy life.
Yes, totally agree, we are NOT wired to be lazy and just want a job. We are raised and conditioned that way. Funny, how our upbringing can influence this so much, BUT it can be reprogrammed... that is the good news. I did not grow up like that, but I am quite familiar with that scenario. Gosh, that paragraph is really powerful, thanks for sharing. So much truth in it.
Thanks for reconnecting and sharing. I will be diving into this deeper as time goes on. I welcome your insight. xoxo
Lots of thoughts on this. I think it really depends on what the students end goal is …. And how to get there in the most financially prudent way.
If the student is looking to get Done and have a job waiting for them by Christmas senior year then the intern ship path is probably the way to go. If they don’t really know what they want to do I think trying a lot of different classes is great however that could involve taking extra courses each semester, which might be too much for them, or extending their time at school,which would be financially difficult. If haveing a job waiting for them by Christmas senior year than the internship path is probably the way to go. If they don’t really know what they want to do I think trying a lot of different classes is great however that could involve taking extra courses each semester, which might be too much for them, or extending their time at school, which could be financially an issue.
My first child did a traditional Big Ten college four years, but did no internship, but still had a job waiting for him before he graduated.
Second child knew exactly what she wanted and didn’t feel she would get it in the United States so she went to college in the UK. She came home during Covid and finished in the United States unfortunately. But went right back for graduate school at U. Of Edinburgh —It was streamlined where she only took classes that she was interested in and didn’t have to take Gen Ed’s in things that she did not want to. She gets done school faster and much less money than the United States.. Plus, unless things change drastically in the United States I do not see her returning to the United States.
Child three was not a great fit for traditional colleges, so he went to the college of the Florida Keys, and did a major in diving business and marine technology. It was a mixture of in class and out on the water which worked well for him because he would not be able to sit through five classes, a semester in a classroom.. I really think schools need to stop promoting college as the only way… stop with best school/top schools because there’s so many ways to get to the college finish line. If you can afford financially or time wise to take extra classes in addition to major that excellent if they want to.
And honestly I still think the travel experience tops everything.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. Yes, totally depends on the student for sure. I guess I just can't see why there is so much pressure for them to have one after their freshman year, there are several summers to follow that one.
Love how your kids found their "own" way to what worked. Every child is different and great that you embraced that. Ah, yes, the top school/best school yep so crazy. Will and I both started in JC's and it worked well for us. Avalon was not interested in that path and her school worked out for her. Definitely so many ways to get to your destination. However, and I will definitely be writing something about this, just not sure in what capacity. I am seeing things I don't like when kids have no global history, human psychology, wellness classes, etc as a result of deciding to NOT go to college. Thinking on how that space can be filled as it has produced some ugly in our countries as a result of a lack of education in these areas. Still processing this one though.
I completely agree with you that kids should be free to chose what they want to do with their life and follow their passion, including not going to college/university and doing a trade or military. If university isn’t the right path, I don’t care if they graduate. Better to figure it out sooner than later. But college is very expensive in the USA, and such a racket. The cost was a major decision for us on where our kids would attend, and whether the return on investment was worth it (we elected to avoid the private schools costing $80k a year that give zero merit money despite our daughter having a very high GPA). As a middle class family we qualify for zero financial aid. So if college is what our kids want to do, they need to contribute financially. I am ok not having an internship after freshman year, but they need to get a job and make some money over the summer. They need to have some skin in the game.
Oh for sure, Avalon is working this summer. Yes, they should definitely be working and contributing. It is so crazy expensive!!! Ridiculous and the middle class get so screwed. Thanks so much for sharing, future parents of university students need to know all of this.
Ah love this, so thoughtful! So two thoughts from me. One is I’ve just picked up ‘The Success Myth’ by Emma Gannon - I’m only a couple of chapters in but she’s challenging what we as a society call success and I think you might like it! It’s very much in keeping with the conversation here. My second thought is related to timing! I took my daughter out of traditional school last September, she’s currently equivalent to UK year 8 (is that 7th grade, not sure?). I’m 50:50. Some days I think it’s so the right thing and other days I panic that it wasn’t! The concept of following your interests feels right and at the same time I look at her some days playing Minecraft all day and I worry she ‘should’ be doing something else or more. It’s really hard to tread this path when you have no one around you on it with you. So it’s good to be here and feel a little less alone. I know I need to learn to trust her and trust my instincts but when society is so loud it can be hard!
Cool, just Googled the book and it is only in hardcopy. Darn, not good for our travel life. I will keep an eye open for it along the way. I think that is a very normal feeling, you are not the first person to say this. However, to be totally transparent I am not a fan of Unschooling solely as a homeschooling program, but I love it in conjunction with other styles. I am going to do a whole newsletter about it and my why for feeling this way. But trust your gut, whatever it is telling you. There are people who swear by Mindcraft and those who don't. I can't give an opinion because we are not a gaming family. Ok, more to come on all of this, no, you are not alone. There are loads of us out here. Thanks for commenting.
Ah I thought it might already be on audible but obviously not, do keep an eye out for it! It's pretty new. Thanks for your thoughts above, we've got some live group sessions starting next week so we'll see how that goes! It's all about experimenting and seeing what works!
Hello Jessica! was it really ten years ago that we were on a skype call talking about launching dreams? amazing to see the miles you have traveled since that call.
Yes. to both. Blending following interests with navigating cut and dry human constructed, often hierarchical, systems. (yeah university has not changed much and the hoop jumping is real)
This will involve some risk and some creativity. I didn't have much of either when I was 18.
My parenting manifesto: grow curious engaged explorers.
on my window shelf: "follow your interests" and "raise your standards for who and what you allow in your life"
My oldest is finishing his grade 12 year. Instead of going to his convocation (despite that I even had my hair done), he competed in a regional track and field meet. Instead of prom, he followed his dream to run his first marathon. Goals of his own choosing have added meaning and purpose to his day to day life.
We were able to combine traditional schooling in the morning, with sports school in the afternoon. It was a game changer. After too many years sitting all day in a traditional classroom, he sparked to life. We're getting better at a societal level in offering these opportunities. They are, however, limited.
Follow your interests. This shouldn't be so hard. And not just for young adults, but for all adults. Imagine a world full of curious engaged explorers?
There seems to be a prevailing ideology that people are inherently lazy, that without "jobs" and "bosses" we would all binge watch Netflix while devouring Costco size bags of potato chips. (I may be enticed to do this for a day or two). That brute discipline or force matters more than inspiration and choice. I disagree. I think that most healthy (and there's the crux...healthy) humans are wired to contribute, learn, accomplish and embrace challenge. What do you think?
As for careers. IMHO the number one factor that determines job satisfaction is not so much What you do, but the working conditions while you're doing it and that's harder to predict at 18... but that's a whole other conversation.
It has been 10 years, crazy!!! Love your parenting manifesto. LOVE IT! Love all of this! Your oldest knows himself which is most of the battle to a happy life.
Yes, totally agree, we are NOT wired to be lazy and just want a job. We are raised and conditioned that way. Funny, how our upbringing can influence this so much, BUT it can be reprogrammed... that is the good news. I did not grow up like that, but I am quite familiar with that scenario. Gosh, that paragraph is really powerful, thanks for sharing. So much truth in it.
Thanks for reconnecting and sharing. I will be diving into this deeper as time goes on. I welcome your insight. xoxo
Lots of thoughts on this. I think it really depends on what the students end goal is …. And how to get there in the most financially prudent way.
If the student is looking to get Done and have a job waiting for them by Christmas senior year then the intern ship path is probably the way to go. If they don’t really know what they want to do I think trying a lot of different classes is great however that could involve taking extra courses each semester, which might be too much for them, or extending their time at school,which would be financially difficult. If haveing a job waiting for them by Christmas senior year than the internship path is probably the way to go. If they don’t really know what they want to do I think trying a lot of different classes is great however that could involve taking extra courses each semester, which might be too much for them, or extending their time at school, which could be financially an issue.
My first child did a traditional Big Ten college four years, but did no internship, but still had a job waiting for him before he graduated.
Second child knew exactly what she wanted and didn’t feel she would get it in the United States so she went to college in the UK. She came home during Covid and finished in the United States unfortunately. But went right back for graduate school at U. Of Edinburgh —It was streamlined where she only took classes that she was interested in and didn’t have to take Gen Ed’s in things that she did not want to. She gets done school faster and much less money than the United States.. Plus, unless things change drastically in the United States I do not see her returning to the United States.
Child three was not a great fit for traditional colleges, so he went to the college of the Florida Keys, and did a major in diving business and marine technology. It was a mixture of in class and out on the water which worked well for him because he would not be able to sit through five classes, a semester in a classroom.. I really think schools need to stop promoting college as the only way… stop with best school/top schools because there’s so many ways to get to the college finish line. If you can afford financially or time wise to take extra classes in addition to major that excellent if they want to.
And honestly I still think the travel experience tops everything.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. Yes, totally depends on the student for sure. I guess I just can't see why there is so much pressure for them to have one after their freshman year, there are several summers to follow that one.
Love how your kids found their "own" way to what worked. Every child is different and great that you embraced that. Ah, yes, the top school/best school yep so crazy. Will and I both started in JC's and it worked well for us. Avalon was not interested in that path and her school worked out for her. Definitely so many ways to get to your destination. However, and I will definitely be writing something about this, just not sure in what capacity. I am seeing things I don't like when kids have no global history, human psychology, wellness classes, etc as a result of deciding to NOT go to college. Thinking on how that space can be filled as it has produced some ugly in our countries as a result of a lack of education in these areas. Still processing this one though.
Have a great day. Thanks for sharing.
I completely agree with you that kids should be free to chose what they want to do with their life and follow their passion, including not going to college/university and doing a trade or military. If university isn’t the right path, I don’t care if they graduate. Better to figure it out sooner than later. But college is very expensive in the USA, and such a racket. The cost was a major decision for us on where our kids would attend, and whether the return on investment was worth it (we elected to avoid the private schools costing $80k a year that give zero merit money despite our daughter having a very high GPA). As a middle class family we qualify for zero financial aid. So if college is what our kids want to do, they need to contribute financially. I am ok not having an internship after freshman year, but they need to get a job and make some money over the summer. They need to have some skin in the game.
Oh for sure, Avalon is working this summer. Yes, they should definitely be working and contributing. It is so crazy expensive!!! Ridiculous and the middle class get so screwed. Thanks so much for sharing, future parents of university students need to know all of this.
Love the new banner.
I made the courageous decision to take all my kids out of the traditional school system.
Now I need your help designing their new educational path!
One day, I would love them to make money on a way that makes them happy.
Just like me. I love my job. I’m a coach! Took me a lot of careers and a lot of years to get to this point but it was worth it 😉
Can't wait to help you in this next season. Education planning is so fun when you are designing in with your children in mind.
Ah love this, so thoughtful! So two thoughts from me. One is I’ve just picked up ‘The Success Myth’ by Emma Gannon - I’m only a couple of chapters in but she’s challenging what we as a society call success and I think you might like it! It’s very much in keeping with the conversation here. My second thought is related to timing! I took my daughter out of traditional school last September, she’s currently equivalent to UK year 8 (is that 7th grade, not sure?). I’m 50:50. Some days I think it’s so the right thing and other days I panic that it wasn’t! The concept of following your interests feels right and at the same time I look at her some days playing Minecraft all day and I worry she ‘should’ be doing something else or more. It’s really hard to tread this path when you have no one around you on it with you. So it’s good to be here and feel a little less alone. I know I need to learn to trust her and trust my instincts but when society is so loud it can be hard!
Cool, just Googled the book and it is only in hardcopy. Darn, not good for our travel life. I will keep an eye open for it along the way. I think that is a very normal feeling, you are not the first person to say this. However, to be totally transparent I am not a fan of Unschooling solely as a homeschooling program, but I love it in conjunction with other styles. I am going to do a whole newsletter about it and my why for feeling this way. But trust your gut, whatever it is telling you. There are people who swear by Mindcraft and those who don't. I can't give an opinion because we are not a gaming family. Ok, more to come on all of this, no, you are not alone. There are loads of us out here. Thanks for commenting.
Ah I thought it might already be on audible but obviously not, do keep an eye out for it! It's pretty new. Thanks for your thoughts above, we've got some live group sessions starting next week so we'll see how that goes! It's all about experimenting and seeing what works!
exactly, try it all until you find a good fit.