This newsletter/podcast will remain completely free, but if you find value in our work, please consider a paid newsletter and/or podcast subscription. For just $5/month or $50/annually. I know some of you are not interested in subscriptions and prefer to send your contribution directly to us on Venmo (@Jessica-Sueiro). I am so happy to have you here and thank you for your continued support of my writing and our future podcast.
When Avalon left for college we said…
“we don’t care if you graduate from university or what your degree is in.”
Now after one year into her university experience, we still feel the same way, maybe even more so. Her last two years of high school were soul-sucking academically. Avalon had a goal to attend a top-tier university business program and wanted to enter as a traditional student, which meant there were benchmarks that needed to be met for her to be competitive, period. I wrote all about the experience here. As a result, it required her to take classes that did not inspire her, they were just to check a box. She achieved her goal and was completely fine with the two years of emptiness as a result. Her fear now was that “is this what university will look like?” And our response was, well, it is what you make of it.”
Let’s take a small step back in time for a minute to give you a glimpse into what Avalon’s education looked like before these two years. This will truly help you understand the person she is, a very curious individual who loves to learn and did not hate school. Up until age 10, she had a traditional education path in the US. Yes, she was in an International French school when we left in 2014 so a bit different than the American way, but the same in many. When we left the USA she requested to be homeschooled and as such she has had a more eclectic education which did factor in the typical subjects, but with a twist. A twist that made them fun to learn, rather than tedious and workbook based. We hate workbooks and teaching to the tests. She never saw the teaching to the tests again until her final two years of high school, thankfully. During most of her travel life, Avalon had online classes and classes out in the communities we passed through which greatly enriched and contributed to her love of learning. This has been the case for both her and Largo, but since we are talking about life beyond high school I will stick with her scenario for this newsletter.
Before she left for college we had “the talk,” several times actually. We knew Avalon would work hard at whatever she did. We also knew the goal of the institution is to graduate students and keep their numbers up. Prospective parents look at those numbers and the university could not have 1,000 Avalon’s running around saying “I can take whatever inspires me because my parents don’t care if I graduate.” We also learned that many (if not most) parents really were not concerned about their children “exploring,” but rather them producing, and by producing I mean a status title and a lofty paycheck to accompany that status.
Avalon and I attended several university weekends for accepted students while she was in the decision-making process. During every Q&A we attended the number one question asked by parents was related to internships and job placement. “Will my child be able to get an internship after his freshman year?” “How can you guarantee they will be hired immediately upon graduation.” “How many this and how many that should they take, be part of, etc to land xyz status job?” The student's parents wanted numbers, evidence, and cold, hard, proof that their future graduate would be a success.” We were at these Q&As during the tail end of COVID, a time when depression and suicide were on a steady rise with the youth and only 1 parent asked the question about how the school handles wellness in a sea of 100s of internship and future income questions. I am not even sure if this was the path the students wanted, but the parents were going to make sure the kids did it whether it served them or not.
On the contrary, we asked Avalon to consider NOT doing an internship after her freshman year. This is not our typical parenting style as 99% of the time we let them lead the way. But from what I had seen at these schools I was concerned she would follow suit by way of academic advisor pressure and her wellness would suffer. We suggested she have fun, travel, write, create, take classes in subjects unavailable to her at Carnegie Mellon University, explore, take care of herself, and basically do whatever she had been longing for all year. Temptation dangled itself in front of her as she was asked to submit a CV for a start-up in Pittsburgh, but she ultimately said, “Maybe next year.” These university students work so hard, they are burned out and many incredibly depressed after their first year, we need to give them space to recharge and not project our fears of them not finding a job IN FOUR YEARS.
Just last week the following came across my feed and I loved it. This is exactly what we told Avalon and here is proof of how harmful our words can be for our young adults.
Brené Brown's conversation on Contact Clips on Instagram
What many parents say:
“We are not paying for it (college) if you don’t know what you want to be. You’re 18”
Brené Brown said this to her daughter:
“Take every class that is interesting to you. Learn who you are. Because if I had a $1 for every interview I did with a late 20 or early 30-year-old that got on the Engineer, Lawyer, Doctor path because that was the moving escalator for smart people…who were depressed, hated what they did and never even knew you could be a shoe designer, a casting director or a microphone builder. If I had a $1 for every one of those I would be set for life.
…You need to explore.”
Her daughter responded with this:
That is so cringy mom, everyone at freshman orientation knows exactly what they are going to be, where they are going to grad school.
Brené said:
That’s great, that is not the way we work.
And who really knows what they want to be at 18? And if they are not given the opportunity to explore then how will they ever know? What career # are you on? Will and I are well past our first careers and each time we have pivoted it was time and it felt so freeing and hopeful. As a result, we found our way into a new career.
So what really happens if Avalon (or your student) takes a smorgasbord of classes? And what if she does not graduate? Will we panic? No, we won’t because this likely means she found something she really loved along the way and it is now serving her. The last thing we want is for her to be one of Brené Brown's statistics of misery in her early 30s because she followed the moving escalator for smart people.
This year Avalon has taken some very serious business classes, but she has also partnered these with her curiosities in her 1st and her upcoming 2nd year at Carnegie Mellon University: Ceramics, Patterning, Draping, Understanding Textiles, Intro to Rap and Spring Board Diving. She has remarked numerous times how this balance has brought great joy and recharging to her year.
In addition, she will take a three-week Fashion Design class in NYC this summer. She has a passion for Costume Design and in order to get into the upper-level classes at CMU she must have a good design foundation and a portfolio. After her time in NYC nourishing her creative side she will join us in Asia for travel with Largo, as well as a bit with us before returning to the USA for her second year in university at CMU.
What is the view like from where you are sitting? Are these young people not getting the opportunity to explore in university? Maybe it differs depending on where you are in the US or even where you are in the world. How does this look from when you went to university? I don’t remember having much flexibility and if I was in university now I would do many things differently including advocate for myself more. Would you change anything?
I welcome your feedback on this topic. I know university is expensive within the USA. Does this impact your opinion about letting them be free to take classes that inspire them, but that don’t have a direct path to a professional career? Let’s talk!
xoxo,
Jess
the WHY matters!
We made a change. The newsletter and the future podcast will have a WorldTowning focus yes, but we will dig deeper into the topics we feel passionate about and why they matter. Hence… the WHY matters name change. More on this later, but just wanted to let you know if something seems a little different. Do you like the new header at the top of the newsletter?
Join us on a group trip!
Many of you have been with us for a long time (thank you), but others are new here. Welcome! One of the ways we make money is through hosting group trips to magical places across the globe. We welcome you to explore our itineraries here or ask us to create a group trip for you.
Be a traveler with us, not a tourist.
When we set out to create our first group trip we had a very clear idea of what type of a trip we wanted to host. We wanted it to have heart and soul, education and introspection, adventure and laughter, connection and change, but we also wanted our guests to go away feeling connected with us and locals, as well as the other guests. We can now tell you that this model works and it works well. In addition, we wanted to create trips that brought you, the traveler, along with us to discover the world by way of how we do it, more locally immersed and less touristy. To get a better idea of how we travel, check out our collection of YouTube vlogs that spans five continents and counting.
Travel is nothing without the deep and profound connection we make with ourselves, local cultures and other tour guests.
Connections are easily made on our trips because we have clearly outlined who should attend our trips, by creating “The Way”, but also by hosting the trips personally and not outsourcing them while we sit in an office somewhere. Our passion for sharing the world with others would not be fed if we hired people to lead our trips and that is what makes WorldTowning Voyages a very unique tour company. To share the world with all of you in a group experience is our jive.
We look forward to meet with you out in the world to explore.
Our upcoming trips:
Hiking the Camino: Sept 25-Oct1, 2023
Barcelona: Oct 3-8, 2023
India: Dec 30-Jan 12, 2024
Peru: March 2-9, 2024
Costa Rica: March 12-20, 2024
South of France: Sept 30-Oct 8, 2024
Paris: Oct 10-16, 2024
Japan: 2024
Israel: 2025
Where are we now?
We just left our island paradise for a port way north in the Sea of Cortez. Now this is where things are going to get a bit more interesting. Stay tuned!
This newsletter/podcast will remain completely free, but if you find value in our work, please consider a paid newsletter and/or podcast subscription. For just $5/month or $50/annually. I know some of you are not interested in subscriptions and prefer to send your contribution directly to us on Venmo (@Jessica-Sueiro). I am so happy to have you here and thank you for your continued support of my writing and our future podcast.
Hello Jessica! was it really ten years ago that we were on a skype call talking about launching dreams? amazing to see the miles you have traveled since that call.
Yes. to both. Blending following interests with navigating cut and dry human constructed, often hierarchical, systems. (yeah university has not changed much and the hoop jumping is real)
This will involve some risk and some creativity. I didn't have much of either when I was 18.
My parenting manifesto: grow curious engaged explorers.
on my window shelf: "follow your interests" and "raise your standards for who and what you allow in your life"
My oldest is finishing his grade 12 year. Instead of going to his convocation (despite that I even had my hair done), he competed in a regional track and field meet. Instead of prom, he followed his dream to run his first marathon. Goals of his own choosing have added meaning and purpose to his day to day life.
We were able to combine traditional schooling in the morning, with sports school in the afternoon. It was a game changer. After too many years sitting all day in a traditional classroom, he sparked to life. We're getting better at a societal level in offering these opportunities. They are, however, limited.
Follow your interests. This shouldn't be so hard. And not just for young adults, but for all adults. Imagine a world full of curious engaged explorers?
There seems to be a prevailing ideology that people are inherently lazy, that without "jobs" and "bosses" we would all binge watch Netflix while devouring Costco size bags of potato chips. (I may be enticed to do this for a day or two). That brute discipline or force matters more than inspiration and choice. I disagree. I think that most healthy (and there's the crux...healthy) humans are wired to contribute, learn, accomplish and embrace challenge. What do you think?
As for careers. IMHO the number one factor that determines job satisfaction is not so much What you do, but the working conditions while you're doing it and that's harder to predict at 18... but that's a whole other conversation.
Lots of thoughts on this. I think it really depends on what the students end goal is …. And how to get there in the most financially prudent way.
If the student is looking to get Done and have a job waiting for them by Christmas senior year then the intern ship path is probably the way to go. If they don’t really know what they want to do I think trying a lot of different classes is great however that could involve taking extra courses each semester, which might be too much for them, or extending their time at school,which would be financially difficult. If haveing a job waiting for them by Christmas senior year than the internship path is probably the way to go. If they don’t really know what they want to do I think trying a lot of different classes is great however that could involve taking extra courses each semester, which might be too much for them, or extending their time at school, which could be financially an issue.
My first child did a traditional Big Ten college four years, but did no internship, but still had a job waiting for him before he graduated.
Second child knew exactly what she wanted and didn’t feel she would get it in the United States so she went to college in the UK. She came home during Covid and finished in the United States unfortunately. But went right back for graduate school at U. Of Edinburgh —It was streamlined where she only took classes that she was interested in and didn’t have to take Gen Ed’s in things that she did not want to. She gets done school faster and much less money than the United States.. Plus, unless things change drastically in the United States I do not see her returning to the United States.
Child three was not a great fit for traditional colleges, so he went to the college of the Florida Keys, and did a major in diving business and marine technology. It was a mixture of in class and out on the water which worked well for him because he would not be able to sit through five classes, a semester in a classroom.. I really think schools need to stop promoting college as the only way… stop with best school/top schools because there’s so many ways to get to the college finish line. If you can afford financially or time wise to take extra classes in addition to major that excellent if they want to.
And honestly I still think the travel experience tops everything.