Hi Jess! I wanna say that your newsletters are thought-provoking. I gave your legacy question a toss in the salad about 20 years ago right after 9/11. My thought was what will my kids say about me when I'm dead? Do I want them to say that mom sat in an office behind a door in front of a computer all day. Yeah, no. So, I finished my degree and started teaching. I taught for 20 yrs and now I'm back in an office, behind a door, in front of a computer, BUT...I am an academic advisor. No longer in the classroom but still hopin to affect change one student at a time. I sit and listen A LOT. I give them words of wisdom, suggestions. I hope to empower them. I try to instill wise choice making skills. I dole out my fair share of compassion and understanding with a dash of reality. I guess what I'm trying to say is what you leave behind are memories. Hopefully, my kids will remember me for the kindness I showed others, for the way I always tried to "flip the coin", for always trying to make memories with them, for the love and support I gave them, and for always being true to myself. That's truly all we can leave them. Memories. You've made a shit-ton of memories with your family so don't worry about your legacy. You've done good. Love you and Will and the kiddos. Be safe out there on the big blue marble. 💙 Luly Otero
Love this. Good job mama! Definitely a big high five to memories. I worry less about memories and more about what baggage have I left them with that needs to be resolved before I go? Have I unknowinglgy passed on generational trauma/scars, is there something in the way I have lived that gives them pause and makes them less proud of me or makes them stressed when we talk? Still thinking on all of this. Love hearing from you. Keep it up! xoxo
Omg, Jess! I worry about that all the time and work constantly to counter anything I've passed on to them. Just yesterday I told Serena that I was sorry for anything I may have said or done that I may not even recall that ever made her feel sad or confused. I also explained that there were many, many years as they were growing up that I was just not myself. That many of the things I said and did were as a result or bc I was not myself. I also explained that I am more myself now after many years of self-reflection and internal work. I told her that I was responsible for my actions and words. That I hoped to do better and appreciated her support. Conversations. Honest, vulnerable conversation. Hard conversations. Those are the only antidotes I have found to the generational trauma I have passed on to them. Parenting is hard, Jess, and if its easy, then we're doing it wrong. Thanks for reading. I support you and your mission. Keep doing it. ❤️ Luly
Ok, so you are inspiring me to revisit the newsletter on legacy. It just feels huge! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it gives me more to think about. xoxo
Loved your thoughtfulness as ever! I too have just finished reading 'The Light We Carry' and loved it even more than her first - she truly is an amazing human! I listened to her interviewed on the 'We Can Do Hard Things' podcast yesterday with Glennon Doyle and the crew and that's worth a listen to if you haven't seen it already x
Hi Jess! I wanna say that your newsletters are thought-provoking. I gave your legacy question a toss in the salad about 20 years ago right after 9/11. My thought was what will my kids say about me when I'm dead? Do I want them to say that mom sat in an office behind a door in front of a computer all day. Yeah, no. So, I finished my degree and started teaching. I taught for 20 yrs and now I'm back in an office, behind a door, in front of a computer, BUT...I am an academic advisor. No longer in the classroom but still hopin to affect change one student at a time. I sit and listen A LOT. I give them words of wisdom, suggestions. I hope to empower them. I try to instill wise choice making skills. I dole out my fair share of compassion and understanding with a dash of reality. I guess what I'm trying to say is what you leave behind are memories. Hopefully, my kids will remember me for the kindness I showed others, for the way I always tried to "flip the coin", for always trying to make memories with them, for the love and support I gave them, and for always being true to myself. That's truly all we can leave them. Memories. You've made a shit-ton of memories with your family so don't worry about your legacy. You've done good. Love you and Will and the kiddos. Be safe out there on the big blue marble. 💙 Luly Otero
Love this. Good job mama! Definitely a big high five to memories. I worry less about memories and more about what baggage have I left them with that needs to be resolved before I go? Have I unknowinglgy passed on generational trauma/scars, is there something in the way I have lived that gives them pause and makes them less proud of me or makes them stressed when we talk? Still thinking on all of this. Love hearing from you. Keep it up! xoxo
Omg, Jess! I worry about that all the time and work constantly to counter anything I've passed on to them. Just yesterday I told Serena that I was sorry for anything I may have said or done that I may not even recall that ever made her feel sad or confused. I also explained that there were many, many years as they were growing up that I was just not myself. That many of the things I said and did were as a result or bc I was not myself. I also explained that I am more myself now after many years of self-reflection and internal work. I told her that I was responsible for my actions and words. That I hoped to do better and appreciated her support. Conversations. Honest, vulnerable conversation. Hard conversations. Those are the only antidotes I have found to the generational trauma I have passed on to them. Parenting is hard, Jess, and if its easy, then we're doing it wrong. Thanks for reading. I support you and your mission. Keep doing it. ❤️ Luly
Ok, so you are inspiring me to revisit the newsletter on legacy. It just feels huge! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it gives me more to think about. xoxo
Loved your thoughtfulness as ever! I too have just finished reading 'The Light We Carry' and loved it even more than her first - she truly is an amazing human! I listened to her interviewed on the 'We Can Do Hard Things' podcast yesterday with Glennon Doyle and the crew and that's worth a listen to if you haven't seen it already x
Thanks!!! Yes, I did listen to it. Gosh, that podcast is so good. And, Michelle was as fabulous as ever.
Love your slowing down practice. I’m in this practice too. Easier said than done.
And Michelle? Yeah, loved both books too!
See you soon Jess! Travel well!