Why I have pink (& gray) hair

On a lighter note

Feb 26, 2023

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When I first started growing out my gray in Costa Rica in 2014 (bottom pic). 1 year later (top pic).

It’s just hair

Thought I might keep it light this week and talk about my hair. You would not believe how many questions Will and I get about our hair, even after all these years. I am quite comfortable sharing the why, how I make it work with all this salt water, and maybe some of the funny (albeit negative) comments. Many of you submitted your questions to me via Instagram. Thank you.

What is the history of my hair:
I have always taken a lot of risks with my hair, mostly after I left my late 80s “hairspray out to the sides” look and a small town where appearance was insanely judged. I remember this one girl in my school who was goth before goth was even a thing. I would see her in church with her conservative mom and her wild ways and think “wow, she is her own person.” The talk around town was a pity for the mom, assumptions were made that the daughter was on drugs and of course my favorite, “it was just a phase she was going through.” When I left for college at 17, I was ready to exercise my more eclectic side and shed the judgment that small towns often bring.

I remember the first “wild” thing I did was buy a very flamboyant purple hat with a huge brim. I wore it to the movies with friends and all felt right in the world. For the first time, I felt like I was finally being true to myself when it came to fashion and creative expression.

I eventually started experimenting with my hair, but not until years after my Los Angeles club days and overpriced Beverly Hills salons that would promise me the Jennifer Aniston cut. I cringe at all of the time I spent in those salons (and the money) on top of it being mind-numbingly boring. But, I will say the best shampoo head massages came from those high-end salons. I have now had my hair cut all over the world so I feel I can make a fair assessment.

I have had blue streaks, some green, a half-shaved head (I lost a bet to Avalon in her younger years), braids, platinum (sometimes with a splash of color), super short bangs, super long bangs with a short back, probably some others I have forgotten about and now pink, with gray/brown/yellow/white and a couple of other colors.

Why colored hair, why pink?
When we moved to Costa Rica back in 2014 I was yet again complaining about coloring my greys. Will said, “just stop coloring if you hate it so much.” A concept I had never once considered. My grandmother was still coloring her hair in her 90s, my mother was still coloring her hair, and I could just stop? Women can just stop?

I had been coloring my hair in one capacity or another for 20 years. Whether it be for fun, to color my premature grays, or for some chunky highlights. I had done the high-priced salons where they served you a glass of champagne and I had done the “buy it in a box at CVS for $9.99” route, plus everything in between. Someone in my friend group would find a new hairstylist who had better rates and could get us in and out quickly and we would all change. Her/his rates would go up or they would get overly busy and we would be on the prowl for the next stylist. What, just stop coloring it and give up all this fun? What would I do with the hours in the month?

I had the approval of my husband and although I never navigated life at this point with Will’s approval, there was a part of me who was culturally conditioned to think I would be undesirable. But, when I peeled back that onion I realized that we could be unconditioned. So, I did it. I just let the hair grow without color. And it did not impact me negatively as I thought it would. I was already living a very different life in Costa Rica, my priorities were vastly different than many women in their early 40s from my stationary life so why wouldn’t my external appearance reflect that? And sex, well, it never declined.

I had always dabbled in change with my hair and shortly after moving to Costa Rica and experimenting with growing out my gray, I got a serious cut, mostly because I did not like the two-tone look and just wanted to get to it with the gray. I thought a splash of pink would be fun for a couple of months. At first, it was just pink on top of my gray/brown hair which proved to be barely pink, but towards the end of our time in Costa Rica, I wanted something more vibrant. I had a couple of pieces of hair that were very white so they held the pink much better and voila, the pink I have today was born.

I never knew how long I would keep the pink and frankly I did not put a ton of thought into it. I had two young kids, and a business and had barely started this WorldTowning lifestyle, I had bigger things to concern myself with. The years have rolled on and everything has been a continual change in this lifestyle we call WorldTowning, but the hair has pretty much stayed the same. Longer versions, shorter versions, brighter versions, cotton candy versions, salt water versions, but in the end the pink is still holding on. Will it last forever? I have no idea, but as it stands today. I still love it.

Why pink? I never liked pink until I got pregnant with Avalon and then I was so drawn to pink. When I found out I was having a girl I had to laugh because I probably should have known since I had become so into pink, I detested it before. I don’t love any other color enough to want to see it on my hair every morning in the mirror. Maybe black, but then that would require me to color my roots again and I just don’t have any desire to go back in time. I am happy being gray/pink/brown/yellow and white.

How do I feel about hair in general?

It is a form of self-expression. Be you. Do whatever makes you happy
You are still amazing no matter what your hair looks like

How did I parent regarding hair with Avalon and Largo?

As soon as they could talk they got to do what they wanted with their hair
I have never commented on how they wear their hair
I never combed their hair as kids except after their bath and that’s it. I was once told (and I am sure many others thought it) I was failing as a mother because I did not care how my kids looked externally to others.
Will and I do not allow any commenting about other peoples appearance in our house, unless it is a compliment and even then we still try to focus on personality traits rather than appearance comments.
We did not allow others to comment on our kid's appearance or force them to do things they do not like. Avalon hated big fluffy bows. Everyone gives bows to young girls. We never made her wear them, even if they were a gift.

What you don’t know about my relationship with my hair:

I never comb my hair. OK, I only comb it right after I wash it and that is it. I hate to comb and I hate a neatly made head, on me. I like the messy, jbf hair.
I only wash my hair once, maybe twice a week. The pink fades fast in the seawater and I don’t want to have to reapply, as it is timely and expensive.
I “did” my hair every day as a teenager, sometimes twice a day and I burned out real fast. Back in “the day” I used a can of the aqua net a week and had to use special hairspray removal shampoo.
Going to the hair salon is the place I hate most. I avoid it at all costs until I am desperate.
My dad is bald and I think I read we get our hair genes from our dads. My hair falls out a lot, but I still have a bunch more to go.
I swear I wore the messy bun for a decade. Will said I looked like a French Literature teacher and it was super-hot. Two people intervened claiming I was not keeping myself sexy enough for my hubby. I had a good chuckle.
Not only do I not like to comb it I don’t like to style it, however, if someone wanted to style my hair for me for the rest of my life, I would be onboard, just no combs.
I am terrible at braids or anything fancy beyond pigtails, luckily Avalon loved pigtails as a kid and Will is really good at braiding.
I hardly ever notice other people’s hair. If they got a cut, color, extensions, etc. Usually, they will say, “hey, last time you saw me I had black hair down to my waist and now it is platinum and an inch long, you did not notice?” This is me.
After I had kids my hair got some fun wave it in. I love it.
I don’t own a blow dryer, curling iron, or any other typical hair tools. Got rid of all of them when we started traveling in 2014.
I use LUSH shampoo bars. I love them. I cannot use most shampoo products because the parabens and perfume bother my allergies. I get an instant headache. I miss fragrant shampoo as I always loved the Biolage shampoo smell.

Criticism I received as I went gray
It has always amazed me how much other people are concerned when someone decides to go grey. It would never even cross my mind to comment on how someone does their appearance, even if they decided they were going to be a nudist in NYC. OK, that might be fun. I just don’t care about that kind of stuff.

I was told that Will would find me less desirable.
I was told I would look older than I was.
I was told I would change my mind.
I was frequently instructed on what I could do with my hair to improve it with the assumption I did not know how to do my hair or color my grays.
I was offered complimentary cuts and colors.

Criticism today because of my pink

Grow up and act your age
Will must never want to have sex with you
Trying to pretend you are younger
Grabbing at the youth you did not have
Embarrassment to your kids

Positive responses to my pink hair

You do you
I wish I could do this
You have inspired me to color my hair something different

How I do my pink

Apply Manic Panic to a patch of hair you want to be colored. Must be dry. Wrap them in foil
- I only do the top layers as it is time consuming and $$ to do it all, but also I only like a hint of pink
Leave on MP for 30 minutes (or what the package suggests)
Rinse
Try to only wash it in cold water and not very often
MP does not like saltwater
If your grays don’t hold the pink you might need to light some of your hair with bleach

Will I keep it forever?

Who knows.
When I decided to try out gray I was not sure I would keep it, but then I just did.

Best hair cut

Tenerife Spain
Athens Greece

Worst hair cut

Everywhere else

In closing, I share this in support of those who want to take a risk. There will always be critics, do you, before it is too late, especially with your hair. Hair is not a given in life, there are many suffering with conditions that prevent them from having a choice. Honor them and honor your spirit. If you want it…do it, if you don’t…don’t criticize others. It’s not nice. When you are 80 will you really care who liked your hair?The best decision ever was following my heart, heck, it always is. Good luck.

I hope this gave you a chuckle and inspired you if you want to take a risk with your hair. See you back here in a week for more serious topics.

xoxo,
Jessica

Last weeks vlog

This was our third visit and just as amazing as always. Visit #1. Visit #2. Our favorite place in Morocco mixed with a group of amazing humans and you have magic. Those who travel with us embody “The WorldTowning Way.” Take a look for yourself. Next group trip is The Camino for 7 days if you want to join us.

Where are we now?

In a marina called Shelter Bay which is in Colon, Panama. Sentry is unimpressed. She misses her days of remote island gazing and sniffing buckets of lobster before they get tossed in the hot pot.

To learn more about us, our mission, and our business you can visit us at WorldTowning. To view our most recent group trip offerings head on over to WorldTowningvoyages.com. If you are interested in booking a coaching session to realize your travel dream, schedule it here. If you want to follow the travels of our WorldTowning family, you can find us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok

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