We won't return to Morocco

My story of assault

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Photo credit: Chris Megos in Morocco 2022

Never silence assault

*Trigger warning. This addresses assault. If this is triggering for you we send you love. We will meet you back here next week with something a bit lighter.

Assault: An assault is the act of committing physical harm or unwanted physical contact upon a person or, in some specific legal definitions, a threat or attempt to commit such an action. It is both a crime and a tort and, therefore, may result in criminal prosecution, civil liability or both.

I was assaulted. In Morocco. On November 26th. Just six hours after our most recent WorldTowning guided group trip ended. I was not physically harmed, but I was a victim of unwanted physical contact.

I have written this in my head 1,000 times, over the course of the past two weeks. I have questioned what I should share. How much I should share. How honest I should be. Should I even share at all? I have questioned why I went alone to the business to deal with this. I have done some negative self-talk and some positive self-talk. I have discussed this at great length with Will. I have tried to just ignore it. But, I am who I am. I would help several businesses, including my own, if I made the choice to bury this; but, I could potentially harm other humans – more specifically women. So, today, I am going to share my story about how, for the first time in my life at age 50, I was assaulted. I recognize the situation could have escalated too much worse. I am grateful it did not.

There are several reasons why sharing what happened may not be the best idea, but I have never been one to take the “best-idea” road. Why start now.

First – and my biggest reason for NOT wanting to share about the assault – is that it will inevitably perpetuate racism in some form with some individuals. Those prone to think all people from Arab countries are bad may, after reading this, say, “See, even Jessica, after all these years of going to Morocco thinks its people are dangerous.” The last thing I want is for my story to be a reason someone justifies hate. That said, my need to share my experience to help protect other women far outweighs my worry about someone looking for a reason to hate Moroccans.

Second, sharing this will impact our income. We had one trip for Morocco already open for the fall with guests registered and adding another one was in talks. In addition, this will impact our subs on YouTube and our views. We have a very large Moroccan following and sharing my experience will undoubtedly upset some people.

Third, sharing this will hurt people. It will hurt the people we call friends in the country and those with whom we have amazing business relationships. They might even feel betrayed after they read this, even though none of them is involved. It also may hurt our previous guests, because something about their time in Morocco and their memories may be soured just a bit. I hope not, but I know it is a real possibility. It will hurt our kids who have 5+ months’ worth of memories in Morocco. There is just no way they will look at these memories with the same lens. I hope they and others do not judge a whole country by some isolated experiences, but I can’t be certain. And, it hurts us, Will and me. Morocco has always been in our top five countries we have loved visiting on our WorldTowning and family journeys. It has both enriched our hearts and our life experiences.

There will inevitably be some hate thrown at me(us) for what I am sharing. Someone will call me racist, intolerant, or even speculate that I am overreacting. We never started sharing our life on social media to gloss over the realities of the travel life, to share only the good and to pretend our life is all rainbows and unicorns. So, here we sit today – as I write this from the salon of our boat with the sun rising over the horizon – together, you and I to do the hard thing. Here is the raw, real and painfully honest account of an incident(s) that broke my heart for a country I love deeply.

When we first visited Morocco in 2018, we spent three months in the country in Lemonade (our trusted RV). We arrived as tourists and had been deeply cautioned not to go. I had done my research, and I knew that women had fewer rights than men in Morocco, whether anyone would admit to it. I also knew that LGBTQA+ rights were nonexistent, and, again, often denied. I knew that we very well might see these things firsthand, but we did not. On the contrary, we fell in love with the people. But, visiting a country knowing the truths that existed, was something that has always plagued Will and me. We have been asked numerous times how we can visit a country with such inequalities, when our whole premise in life is to the contrary. The short answer is that the growth and learning which comes from experiencing a way of living different from our own is huge to us. We have always focused on what we can learn from an experience and a country versus the negatives that may exist within that country. We ask what we can take away from it, to change our lives and those we encounter, and to make the world a better place for all.

One of the ways we thought we could learn from Morocco was to offer group trips to this amazing country. And yes, I still say amazing from a tourism perspective, because there are so many good people, amazing traditions and loads to learn. Our trips did allow for such opportunities, and we loved taking groups of new friends to Morocco to experience its rich culture. I will still encourage people to travel there to learn, grow and expand their minds. Being a tourist in Morocco is very different than being a female business owner. Yes, WorldTowning is a male- and female-owned business, but my assault was isolated to when I did not have Will by my side. For the first time, WorldTowning Voyages in Morocco was led solely by myself (and Largo) for the first four days of our trip. Will was isolated due to testing positive for COVID the night before our trip began. As a result, I saw a very different side of Morocco than I had seen in previous visits.

We have always treated Morocco and its people with great respect, and this also has been reciprocated. We have been and require our guests to observe local practice, respect the call to prayer and remain cognizant of dressing appropriately. I am very proud of us and our community and how we have paid respect to a country that far differs from where each of us has come.

So, what happened?

As I mentioned, on the eve of our group trip, Will tested positive for COVID. Our policy at the time (which has since loosened) was that guests (and guides) would need to isolate until they tested negative before rejoining the group. As a result, Will missed the first four days of our trip which left Largo and me alone to host our guests. This was not a problem, as we are both familiar with Morocco and comfortable stepping up to the plate when necessary. Our goal was to get to know our guests, honor their emotions (Morocco is a lot to take in initially), share the magic of Morocco, and do this all timely and efficiently. There were a couple of bumps in the road, but nothing that caused any concern for the group. However, I did notice frequently that the service provided by several of the men we worked with was not the same as our last visit (when Will was present). Elements of past tours were omitted/shorted, guides were less engaged with the guests and little gifts that were given no longer happened. When I addressed it with the owners, my concerns were dismissed and my requests for the same service were ignored.

I was able to overlook this treatment toward me, as I knew Will would be with me going forward. I also did not have time to dwell on it, as I had bigger priorities and a trip to run. However, I do pride myself on being a strong woman in business, and the idea that Will had to always be by my side did not sit well with me after I had time to process it all. Nonetheless, Will and I ultimately decided that we would still continue to host future Morocco trips, and we opened registration for our fall 2023 adventure. The remainder of the trip went off smashingly.

Let’s step back in time for a minute to the hammam experience on the second day of our tour. This is one of those experiences I mentioned above where I received different treatment than I would have if Will was with me. The hammam is always a highlight for our guests. There is nothing like a bit of pampering after a day of flights, jet lag and then roaming around Marrakech to renew a person and ready them for adventure. A hammam is a steam room, offering deep exfoliation, followed by lotions, shampoos, soaps and oils. Hammams are my favorite pampering indulgence.

When our group of eight women entered our hammam room that day, it was clearly too small for us. This led to several guests lying in their spaces with someone else’s feet near their mouths. I was under the impression they were going to switch us in and out of the space, but by the time I realized they were not, I did not want to make a scene and ruin the experience for our guests. We joked, we laughed and we poked fun at ourselves, but it was not the relaxing and pampering experience I had promised, not even close. In addition, the teen girl with us had to sit up the whole time because there was no space for her to lie down. If this was not bad enough, I was clear with the manager that the two men on our trip could not go in the same room together. I explained that it is not part of our culture, and they did not know each other. I gave our guests my word they would not have to go together, and when I went into my hammam, Jawad (the manager) went against what I had clearly stated to him and put them together. I could not address these issues in front of our guests. I chose, instead, to address it by email after I left.

By email I asked for our money back for those guests, so I could offer them the hammam I had promised elsewhere. Jawad refused. Upon my return the following week, I went to Hammam Rosa Bonheur on Saturday afternoon 30 minutes before Largo and I had to leave for our flight to France.

When I returned to the hammam, it was empty minus a couple of female workers, Jawad, and another man in the office. Jawad started off very kind and welcoming, saying “Let’s have tea, Jessica, and discuss this.” We spent several minutes going around in circles, with him explaining to me that we shared a meal together on our visit three years prior so things should be fine. I told him I had an airplane to catch and that we needed to get this resolved now. I believed he owed me for the five women who had to share a space in the hammam, the one teen who had to sit up, and the two men who had to go together. I was willing to forego the two complimentary hammams they usually give us. He also overcharged me by one guest. So, at $25 per guest, I felt he should pay me a total of 200 euros for eight hammams. I would then pass this money on to our guests for new hammams. He handed me 25 for the overcharge, and 25 for the seven people who experienced bad service, for a total of 50 euros. I laughed and said, “That is it for your customer service?” He said, “Yes.” I knew arguing with him was going to get me nowhere, so I made my way to the hallway to the exit door. I then communicated that I would be giving them a negative review and would explain everything that happened.

With that, all the “we shared a meal, let’s have tea” went away, and he got ugly. He said he would report WorldTowning to YouTube. I told him to go ahead, knowing he had no ground to stand on. Jawad then demanded the 50 euros be returned. I refused to give it up and turned toward the door to exit. He then grabbed my wrist forcefully, pulled it toward him and said, “Come back in and let’s discuss this.” Honestly, I don’t remember what I said at this time. Profanity would have been my go-to, but I think I said nothing. I desperately pulled my arm back, broke free, grabbed the door and got the hell out of there. Hammam Rosa Bonheur is down an alley, which is not uncommon in Marrakech, but on this day, it was very unnerving to walk two blocks before I saw another human being. I immediately called my children and got someone on the line with me.

There was an older man who saw the whole incident unfold in front of him and he never budged.

When I returned to our riad, I was still shaken, but I am a master at keeping my composure in uncomfortable situations. I knew if I had a complete breakdown in front of our remaining guests, it would not be fair to them and their Moroccan experience. I shared it with one family who was in the lobby, but I did my best to downplay it and move on. I am not sure how convincing I was, as it is all a bit of a blur now.

Obviously, I told Will (who departed earlier in the day). He wrote a review, I wrote a review and then the owner contacted me. She wanted to smooth this over, have dinner and move on. She stated that if she was there, she would have given a refund and that Jawad did not have the authority to give refunds. At this point, I was not willing to take any refund. I also was not willing to smooth this over or remove my review after I was assaulted. I sent her a return email explaining what had happened in great detail. I have yet to hear back and that was 10 days ago. I am assuming, Jawad still has a job there, which is frightening.

All this leads me to an even more alarming situation – one that we all know. There are women out there who will protect men who assault. There are women out there who care more about their business and income than other humans. I am not one of those women, and this is why I am sharing my experience.

I reached out to a handful of women I know in Morocco who own businesses, as well as some local Moroccan friends to get their thoughts on the situation.

I was pleasantly surprised by their responses and support. I am not going to mention them by name in order to protect their privacy, but I do want them to know I am so appreciative. There was one American woman I told who owns a local cafe who said this had not happened to her in all her years of business in Morocco, but ironically, just the prior week, a man had grabbed her in the street and she punched him. I also shared this with an Australian friend in Fez, and she said there is a good share of domestic violence in Morocco, but tourists are protected, as the police come down on locals hard if they harm tourists. Another friend who is Moroccan and also in Fez said I should have contacted the police. In hindsight, I should have. I was 30 minutes away from leaving to board a plane and that clouded my judgment. I regret not taking further action. And then there were a couple of people who were aloof, which is very disheartening. This attitude makes me fear for women business owners – and even more if women are not standing up for other women. And, of course, I am most disheartened by the female owner of Hammam Rosa Bonheur, Samira, who never responded after I shared play-by-play of what her employee did to me.

I have made the decision (with Will’s full support) for our business not to offer Morocco group trips anymore. This was a hard decision to come to. I love Morocco. But, I cannot do business in a country where I do not feel respected as a female business owner, by some of the men and by some of the women. Many years ago, a Moroccan told me that women-owned businesses in Morocco are given equal footing if there is a Moroccan man behind the woman who will stand up for her. I don’t want to have to always count on Will to be by my side to run our business.

I hope what I have shared has encouraged others to share the truth and make bold moves within their businesses if one of their employees assaults a client.

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Come to Peru with us

From March 2nd-March 9th we will be in Peru hosting a hiking and culture group trip. This adventure sold out in one week! We have a couple who is looking to cancel and we are helping to fill their spot. Have you always wanted to see visit Machu Picchu? Now is your chance! We will hike for 4 days through the Andes mountains to arrive at Machu Picchu as the sun rises. But, the trip is more than that because before the magical hike we will meet-up in Cusco to learn its history, cook our very own Peruvian meal, explore natural dyeing techniques, create our own art piece and then do some massage pampering before we set off to hike.

“Because in the end, you won't remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.” Jack Kerouac

For full details, pricing and an expanded itinerary click here. All discounts apply.

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Get on our India group trip waitlist

Registration is not open yet, but we do have a waitlist. Please take 2 minutes to fill out this survey if you are interested in being added to our India group trip waitlist. The trip will take place Dec 29, 2023 - Jan 11, 2024.

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A bit of a heavy week of telling my truths. I always said full-time travel is not all rainbows and unicorns. This is my truth of being assaulted. I welcome your comments and questions below. Have a great weekend.

xoxo,
Jessica

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To learn more about us, our mission and our business you can visit us at WorldTowning. To view our most recent group trip offerings head on over to WorldTowningvoyages.com. If you are interested in booking a coaching session in an effort to realize your travel dream, schedule it here. If you want to follow the travels of our WorldTowning family, you can find us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok