We Never Say This To Our Kids....

Language patterns can be broken

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Hello friends,

Will and I talked about the word Princess the other day and the harmful effects of calling someone a Princess, which sent us down a rabbit hole. We started to make a list of words or phrases we don’t use with our kids and new ones we continue to use as we evolve and learn more about language. Today, I would like to share some of them with you and welcome the ones you have in the comment section.

The words we speak to our children play a critical role in shaping their internal voice, which affects their self-esteem, self-confidence, self-perception as a whole, and place in the world. Negative language can create a hostile environment where children are afraid to make mistakes or express themselves, hindering their learning and development.

Language that acknowledges and validates children’s feelings helps them better understand and manage their emotions and those of others, leading to better social skills and emotional intelligence. Language also plays a massive role in cognitive abilities, improving communication skills and contributing to better critical thinking and learning.

I have broken our key phrases into applicable categories, tried to elaborate on them, and even added a list of additional phrases we don’t like at the bottom, plus some suggestions of positive and empowering phrases. I hope you find value in them, AND this is not just for kids! Think of how much kinder the world would be if we all chose our words differently.

GENDERING

This is written in terms of men and women. Not only are gender roles harmful, but they are only inclusive of the nuclear family, which is profoundly disturbing, omitting all the ways a family can be created and lived.

Princess
This is one of my least favorites of all time. It sends the message that our daughters need saving, which can create a lack of self-sufficiency and confidence. Plus, it tends to value their external, mainly their looks, over their internal brain, creativity, and empathy.