Mama says, “if you have nothing nice to say…. scroll on and get a hobby”
I dub Dec 1st National Don't Be an Ass on Social Media Day!
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National Son Day
Hello friends,
Tis the season to spread love and joy!
Many believe that giving airtime to haters fuels them. I occasionally give them airtime to share that this behavior is NOT okay and that we can all do better before we jump to judge. Frankly, I have never understood why someone feels the need to comment on how another is living unless, of course, it is marginalizing the already marginalized or harming children.
Our moms used to say, “If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.”
The 2023 version this mama is saying is, “If you have nothing nice to say…. scroll on AND get a hobby.”
As you can imagine, you must have a thick skin to carry a social media presence. Did I always have a thick skin? No, do I now, yes! I have learned that the comment is seldom about me but what the sender is struggling with within themselves, and I try to have sympathy for that, but that still does not make it okay. There is a human on the other side of that comment who does not deserve what is being dished out. That human also has a family and friends that this comment may hurt. A couple of months ago, I had a family member (not AvaLar) say, “…it upset me to read xyz.” Something was said about our kids, and it hurt a relative of ours to see how mean people can be.
On the same day, I got attacked online when we posted the vlog about Will’s mental wellness plan, and I had a lady make fun of me for sharing National Son Day and my love for Largo. I wanted to get up and bang my head against the wall. What is the world coming to when we care if someone posts about their appreciation for their child? I took a deep breath and reminded myself this is not about me. Perhaps this is a woman who desperately wanted children and could not conceive. Maybe this is a woman who does not like children or is estranged from her children. Perhaps this is a woman who doesn’t like pink hair; I'm joking about that one, although that has also happened. I made all the excuses for her poor behavior. And then I concluded that maybe she is just miserable; there is a reason for this, right? We are not born this way. Again, I felt sad for her, and I decided to hope she found the joy she needed in her life before it was too late, but I was not prepared to take on her attitude regardless of the circumstances. We have the power to change our trauma, past, and anger if we want to.
BTW, I am all for celebrating everything in life. Make a day for “National I Got New Carpet Day.” Life is meant to be celebrated. Be ridiculous in your quest to celebrate like our Dream Day and be intentional, like Mental Health Wellness Day and LGBTQA+ Day. Why not?
We need more celebrating in life, and I am all for National Son Day, National Rabbit Day, and National I Got My Period Day!
Several months later, I am writing about this woman and wondering how we get to this point. I am inquisitive because I desperately do not want to end up like this. Do you know that 99% of the negative feedback, comments, emails, and PMs I get come from men and women in the last third of their life, and 90% of that negativity comes from women? Do you know that the most prominent supporters of our lifestyle are in the same age range as the guests on our trips and high-fivers on social media? So how do some make it to the last third of their life filled with love and others filled with hate? It is also worth mentioning that the amount of hate we get is so tiny compared to the love. Our hate meter is about less than .5 % of our community.
I have some thoughts on why the hate, but I would love your thoughts. Are you a kind, happy, and encouraging person in the last third of your life, or are you hating on the younger generations? How did you think you ended up this way? Would love comments from either end of the spectrum.
My umbrella answer for the haters would be unfulfilled dreams. Do you think that makes people judgy and angry? Am I way off base? Could it be something else?
Thanks for being here and chatting about the “Why” behind what we do and how we behave towards others. I value these deeper conversations and finding answers so we can all be the best version of ourselves.
xoxo,
Jess
*Edited, Thanks, Dr. Kate Green, for sharing this after I sent the newsletter. It is an interesting read. Where do you think you do or will fall at 65 age?
Where are we now?
16 and Santa. It never gets old. We will remain in Paris a bit longer, and frankly, we are still enjoying it tremendously. France always feels like a warm blanket. This month, we have bundles of friends in town, festive evening events, our “fun event every day” advent calendar, and much more! We will share these adventures on Instagram if you want to join us there.
To learn more about us, our mission, and our business, you can visit us at WorldTowning. To view our most recent group trip offerings, head over to WorldTowningvoyages.com. If you want to book a coaching session to realize your travel dream, schedule it here. If you're going to follow the travels of our WorldTowning family, you can find us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok.
You are doing life very well♥️
My take on it is that we are similar to animals. When a dog is injured or in pain, they bite. I wonder if we are the same. When we suffer too much, we become hostile and aggressive towards others. It’s like the pain causes us to feel angry at the world and other people, especially happy people.
Like you Jessica, I hope to never become bitter but I love how you send compassion to people who have lost their joy.