I Stopped Wearing a Bra!
Volunteer with us in Cambodia
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Hello friends,
Heavy times. Gosh, it's super heavy. Wild Fires. Trump’s response to the California disaster and, oh, that CONVICTION. His supporter’s response to the fires: shame on these terrible humans; people are dying and losing their homes and businesses. Although I doubt there are Trump supporters here, if there are, educate yourself just a little. The library has books, travel outside the USA, or something…climate change is real, and while we are at it, the earth is not flat!!! Mr. Facebook is joining Maga. Gaza, my heart breaks for you every day for months on end. Ah, deep breathe. I can’t understand how so many people lack something fundamental…EMPATHY for others.
Ahhhhhhh, let’s all let out a big fucking scream right now! Just let it roar. We need to be roaring our way through the next four years, and the falloff from it that will likely continue for decades. I know I am not going to sit quietly.
So today, instead of the doom and gloom, I took it a bit lighter, figuratively and literally. Let’s talk bras or, in my case, the lack thereof.
I don’t wear a bra anymore. I am done. So damn done.
When I asked my girlfriends about their first bra, they each had a cute story surrounding it. Some went on a day-long shopping trip with their mom, had lunch, and purchased their first bra at the end of the day. Their moms often commented on how this was their young girl branching into her teen and young adult life. The bra and purchase was a pivotal moment in a young girl’s life, a happy moment. Still, others listened to generations of women talk around the table about how they were now ready for a bra and what a great moment this was, less memorable and a little embarrassing, but still part of their story. And then there is my sweet story. I am not sure where we bought the bra. I don’t remember the scenario, but I remember going to bed and seeing it across the room on my chair as the room darkened. The following day, we were taking an early morning airplane to Disney for vacation, and it was laid out with all my other clothing. Right on top, staring at me, saying, “You are now a teen, a grown-up girl, what’s next, a first kiss, a boyfriend.” And so it began—a life of confinement for my girls, and when I say girls, I am referring to my boobs.
Fast forward 35-40 years, and I have yet to meet a woman who loves wearing a bra. Many love how they look in a bra or the support it gives them, but love getting up every morning and pulling the oranges from the bottom of the tube socks (this is for my older comrades) and shoving them into a constricting, itchy, and often tight piece of material, not so much. What was originally a joyous moment in our tweens was now a real pain in the ass and not to mention expensive.
You will never meet a woman who says, “Let’s go bra shopping; it is so much fun.” Never. It is an expense we have as women that brings us zero joy. A bra, on average, that will not fall apart on the first washing costs around $40 and goes up from there. Bras are not something we can go into the store, grab and go. We need to ensure the cup is the right size, the band around our body fits, and does it have lace- will it show through a sheer top? Does it itch, does it push my boobs up under my chin too much, does it hurt my neck or back, and the list goes on and on. Boring! Yet we do it yearly for up to 80 years for some women. No way! I quit. This is one of the only times you hear me say, “I quit.”
Over the decades, going braless has sometimes been seen as a form of protest. Correct, I am protesting. I can’t tie my girls up anymore; they want to be free. In the 1960s, some hippie women went braless to make a political statement about sexual liberation and their relationship with nature and their bodies. Ok, that works for me as well. I’m protesting on all levels.
So, how did this bra thing come to be? In Ancient Rome and Greece, women wore garments to support their breasts. In 1889, a French designer created the first modern bra, a two-piece undergarment with a corset for the waist and shoulder straps to support the breasts. In 1913, Mary Jacob, a 19-year-old NY socialite, created the first bra by stitching two handkerchiefs together and a ribbon. In 1914, she patented her design and sold it to Warner Brothers Corset Company, which began mass production. By the 1930s, they made them with adjustable elastic straps and padded cups, and the cup-size system became widespread. And so it began…
But why? There are many different theories. One is that the bra became widespread in America during the First World War, partly because the metal previously used to make corsets was needed for ammunition. Another says that the bra was initially worn as an alternative to the corset, as a negligée or at-home wear, or was worn by women with medical issues stemming from corsets. Even another says it was a way to control women and their bodies, a more unrestricted version of the corset. There does not seem to be any definitive answer to this question.
Now, some women wear bras for health benefits, and some choose not to wear them because of the health benefits. A bra is considered "good" because it provides support and comfort to the breasts, helping to maintain posture, reduce back pain, and create a smoother appearance under clothing, which increases confidence. And yes, bras can be considered harmful primarily when they are too tight, as they can restrict blood circulation, potentially causing discomfort, skin irritation, and, in extreme cases, damage to breast tissue due to compromised lymphatic drainage; additionally, wearing an improperly fitted bra can lead to pain in the neck, shoulders, and chest muscles.
I reached out to all of you on Instagram and asked if you were wearing a bra and why or why. The responses were fascinating. Of the people I knew, the ones that went bra-less were mostly younger ladies, which I find so interesting as I would have NEVER gone out without a bra in my young years; ok, wait, I take that back. On some Los Angeles clubbing nights, I did go bra-less, quite a bit, actually. Many women said they do not wear them anymore because they are uncomfortable. Some stop in the winter but wear them in the summer months when it is harder to cover larger breasts. There were lots of responses saying they were harmful and hurt their neck and back; this has always been me, and yes, I do have the correct size bra. And overwhelmingly, many women still wear them because they don’t want dudes using their nipples as eye candy. This has been an issue for me as well when I have gone bra-less in the summer months; it is so annoying. The most significant response was that most women want to stop, but the societal pressures are too much for them. Now, I doubt there are men out there saying, “Please put on a bra, lady,” are we ladies putting societal pressures on each other? We need to be kinder to other ladies. Like we should not care who is having sex with whom, we should not care if a woman wants to go bra-less: her body, her choice, no shaming. When I see a woman without a bra, I think it is a bold decision, and I want to have a coffee with her and learn more about her. My favorite answer, which gave me a laugh, was, “I never started, but I guess that question was aimed at women.” Ha! To each his (or her) own.
How did my bra-less era evolve? I have lived on a boat for the last several years, and bras are not part of my everyday life. For the first time in almost 40 years, I got to experience what it felt like not to be all tied up and clipped in. It felt great, but the shame! I felt a bit dirty; I know, weird choice of words, but if I was on the boat with a tank or loose t-shirt and someone came on board, I would tend to slouch and hide my boobs a bit; ashamed is the only word I can come up with like there was something terrible about what I was doing. Talk about societal pressures and conditioning on crack. We should celebrate our boobs, not hide them. I could not stand tall and confident, but having the girls flop in the breeze felt so good. Of course, I was not topless sailing, at least not until both kids launch for uni. Ha!
Then came the Appalachian Thru-hike, and I only had one sports bra, which they call a bra, but it was not really. There are no clips, cups, push-ups, and pain. Most days, I never even knew I had something under my tank. It was fabulous, and on days when that sports bra was stinky, I just went without it and threw on a black tank. Post trail, I tried to go back to regular bras, but my body ultimately rejected them, and the protest began. I am honoring my body, and it feels great.
Today, I have a bra on. It is cold, my sports bra and tanks are all dirty, and frankly, the bra keeps the boobies warmer on my hike. I decided to keep it on while I write this for full effect. My neck, back, and shoulders all hurt; it is the right size. I only have two bras left, and this one is going in the trash tonight. I will keep one “just in case” there is a particular reason why I need it. So done!
Let’s talk about bra hacks if you do not want to go all in or at least not all in at once. I love tight black tank tops that hold the girls in place. I buy about 10 each year at Old Navy. I buy them in a size too small, so they fit tight, and I buy them without any liner. I am a size B cup, even though all my bras have been a size C for comfort, so I don’t have large breasts, which makes all these hacks much more manageable. At Christmas, a family member gave me a super, duper-tight tank that they could not fit in. I love it! Avalon saw it and told me it was a special tank to hold everything in its place, a slimming tank. I had never heard of this before, but I love it because it is tight, I don’t care about the slimming part. I went online that day and bought another, and they had a sale for $1 each. I probably should have bought 10 to last me the next 20 years. Some hacks offered on IG were to buy printed shirts or tanks with a built-in top, not a bra, but kind of halfway. I remember when the push-up bra came in, and we were all pushing them up and out and in, and what a friggin nightmare, and for who? We can’t say that was for us; we would go home and see the truth. I am so glad the young girls are not feeling the need to do that bullshit. I have never had such back pain as during that era. Other hacks were tape over the nipples, those fun patches that go over the nipple and areola in different patterns, bodysuits, and bralettes. Thank you to everyone who participated. It helped with this post.
I am not a boob girl. I love mine; they are small and manageable, and I would never want bigger. If I were ever to do plastic surgery again (I did it in my early 20s and not to my boobs, story for another day), it would be a breast reduction to an A cup. If I could go back in time, I would have dropped the bra a long time ago, but the truth is I never questioned wearing a bra, and it was not until the boat and the trail that I got a test run and was like, “hell no, I’m not going back.”
I’m going to take the money I (used to) spend on bras and go on a vacation, ok, maybe I won’t save that much, but you get the idea. I will treat myself in one way or another. Do you still wear a bra? Why or why not? Are there any societal pressures in your choices? If you are judging another woman who is going bra-less, why is that? Are you thinking you might give it a test run after this post? Am I selling it as glorious? My intention is not to create a movement of bra-less ladies; it is just to get us to think about what is societal pressure and not honoring our bodies, where we are suffering, and then say, screw it, I’m done. Love you all. Be your best version, whatever that means to you.
Oh boy, big hugs, everyone, what a week it has been,
Jess (aka Sunshine)
p.s. The inspiration for this post came from my daughter, who boldly went without a bra during holiday events. Bam! The next generation is winning it all the way.
VLOG
We are back! After 6 months of posting daily vlogs of our AT thru-hike, we took a month off from posting for the holidays, but we are back now! Find out in this week's vlog what we did for the holidays, how the kids are doing, and what’s next. As far as vlogs, we still have just under 20 vlogs from our time in Asia (18 months ago) that we are editing and will be releasing over the next couple of months while we are in the USA for Largo (aka Captain) to get his pivot pilots license. After that, it’s Cambodia (see below), and back to the boat in Mexico by early summer! When we return to the boat, it will have been 2 years as land travelers; I hope those sea legs come easy. Who am I kidding? I never really had them to begin with. HA!
CAMBODIA VOLUNTEER EVENT
We are going to Cambodia and would love to have you join us! Full details about our Cambodia volunteer event can be found here, or you can message us! This will not be our typical WorldTowning Voyages group trip, but rather, everyone will pay their way and then hang together while we build a library in Siem Reap, Cambodia. Sounds like fun, right? We are so darn excited. Largo spearheaded this after we visited two summers ago. He just loved the school. We plan to work on their computer lab in a couple of years once the library is off the ground and functioning well. If you have been looking for a way to be of service and offer your skills, plus have a good time with some incredible people, then be sure to reach out. We have 2-3 spots left for volunteers. If you can't volunteer but would like to make a monetary donation, you can do so here. We have exceeded our book donation requests. A big thank you to anyone who contributed, as we will not be accepting any more. I look forward to seeing you in Siem Reap.
To learn more about us, our mission, and our business, you can visit us at WorldTowning. To view our most recent group trip offerings, head over to WorldTowningvoyages.com. If you want to book a coaching session to realize your travel dream, schedule it here. If you're going to follow the travels of our WorldTowning family, you can find us on YouTube,Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, The Why Matters Podcast.